How to keep hoping when you aren’t getting what you want

“We let our expectations die and embrace expectancy.” James Choung and Ryan Pfeiffer, Longing for Revival: From Holy Discontent to Breakthrough Faith (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2020), 52. 3 years, 75 hours at a fertility clinic, $4000 of copays, 3 surgeries and 9 procedures later, and still no baby to show for it all.Continue reading “How to keep hoping when you aren’t getting what you want”

Having social anxiety after isolation?

The day finally arrived: two weeks after vaccination! I envisioned fireworks, chocolate fountains, a giant party . . . instead I celebrated my end of isolation with a quiet walk through Hobby Lobby. With so much of the world still in crisis, and half of my community unvaccinated, it wasn’t the climactic ending to aContinue reading “Having social anxiety after isolation?”

Loving Yourself through Affectionate Presence

When my seventeen-month-old nephew, Zachary, is having trouble sleeping at night, my brother pats him on his back gently and says, “I know, I know.” The other day, Zachary was awake and alone in his crib saying to himself, “I know, I know.” From a very young age, kids learn how to soothe themselves. TheyContinue reading “Loving Yourself through Affectionate Presence”

What to do with your white guilt when you want to dismantle white supremacy

Eight people, six of whom were Asian American women (Soon C. Park, Suncha Kim, Yong A. Yue, Hyun Jeong Park Grant, Paul Andre Michels, Xiaojie Tan, Daoyou Feng, and Delaina Ashley Yaun) were murdered this week by the hands of a white terrorist. (image from @therealphilliplim) It was evil, racist, sexist, and another one ofContinue reading “What to do with your white guilt when you want to dismantle white supremacy”

Your life begins with mystery

“It’s a good thing he has an element of mystery to you, otherwise you would try to manipulate him.” My spiritual director said this to me when I was deciding if I should marry Mike. My director’s words were wise. My constant need for more knowledge was actually a dangerous hunger for control. I wantedContinue reading “Your life begins with mystery”

Wishing you could see the future?

Security is not dependent upon the certainty of fulfilled desires. True security is found when we know we are heard. The greatest feeling of safety comes not when we can predict our own future, but in our process of longing. I remember driving up to Ventura for a day away to pray. I was 30Continue reading “Wishing you could see the future?”

Whole: Healing for the Fractured Self

In my last post, I wrote about how God cares about us as whole people, not disembodied souls. God’s plan for humanity is “thriving wholeness” or “shalom.” This thriving wholeness is for all of creation and community, and is dependent on the protection and care for the most vulnerable. In this post, I will zoomContinue reading “Whole: Healing for the Fractured Self”

Whole: Embodied Salvation

Last week, Rev. Raphael Warnock became the first Black Senator in Georgia, thanks to the tireless efforts of Black women like Stacey Abrams and LaTosha Brown fighting against voter suppression. On the same day, the U.S. Capitol was stormed by white supremacists. I’ve been reflecting on the contrast. Some are building a world where “82-year-oldContinue reading “Whole: Embodied Salvation”